Committing Yourself to Your Promises
For the longest time, I had always thought that when I gave a promise for something I said it was separate from who I am. It was still Alex and a promise, and if the promise did not get fulfilled, It was just a degradation of the promise and not of me. I recently understood that who I am in this world is only the promises I put into the world. There is no Alex but rather a promise which pulls an Alex into existence to fulfill on that promise. I discovered at that moment that I can choose to be anyone I want just by opening my mouth and declaring who I am committed to being if my integrity was impeccable. What’s amazing about creating a promise to walk into is that countless ways of actions to fulfill that promise come into existence that did not exist before.
My ex-girlfriend and I could never effectively communicate while we dated. We would argue about everything whether it was about doing the dishes, spending time together, going out and career choices. It occurred to me that every time we were in the same place together, the tension was in the air, and it was only a matter of time before we needed to talk. Our relationship was doomed to fail because, without communication, a romantic relationship cannot work. I realized after we broke up that I was never committed to loving my girlfriend for exactly the way she was and exactly the way she was not. The person I was being with her was judgemental, critical, spiteful and distant. Imagine being in a relationship with a person like that?!? I could have easily walked away from this woman, but she had a son and a dog named Daisy that I loved, and I could not abandon them. I was stuck, powerless and scared that I would lose them all forever. What could I do?
I later discovered that when you create an empowering context for your life, a way of being such as the possibility of having loving relationships with all of those around you, you will be amazed at what first seemed impossible now becomes possible! If I wanted my relationship with my ex-girlfriend to work, then I first needed to commit myself to love her and care for her as a human being despite what I thought or felt about her. When I took responsibility for who I was being, the person that showed up was a man who was loving, caring, and understanding. Creating that promise pulled forth an Alex into existence which could be that kind of a man. Since that moment, we have created a beautiful friendship, and I get to express my love for Daisy and her son as often as I can. She told me that she loves the man I have become and wished I was him while we were dating.
When you speak, worlds are created. You are the creator of worlds. Speak wisely!
Alex Macklin is a Certified Personal Trainer and Yoga teacher in San Diego. He specializes in building strength, mobility, flexibility and rehabilitation with his clients. His mission is to empower people to their own greatness with strength, grace and passion.