Declaration of Freedom
I want you to imagine that you're a teenage girl in high school. Your current preoccupations include if your crush will text you today and if you're prepared for your history test. You wake up, go through your morning routine, and head down for breakfast.
On this particular morning, your father says, "I had a great dream last night." You perk up because your father doesn't share much. You're interested in what his dream was about, but more interested in hearing what he has to say. He continues, "Last night I dreamt you were skinny. You looked really nice. I really liked that dream."
Fast forward and now you’re in your twenties; you’ve decided to move to San Diego in pursuit of your dreams. You ask your father for some assistance. Straight up point blank, he replies "No. I'm not helping you. Everything you do is a disappointment."
You can probably gather that I might have daddy issues by now. This is something that I've lived with for many years. It has affected me in my work life in not feeling confident with the work that I do, in my relationships always seeking someone to tell me I was good enough. I was always seeking validation from others because I couldn't give it to myself. I lived most of my life blaming my father for all my failures; "He never believed in me or gave me support so now I am nothing."
Until now. Through my own curiosity of how to succeed in life, I turned to books, seminars, teachers, psychedelics, and the internet. I came to understand that I create my own reality. I can feel like shit about where I am in life and blame my father. Or I can take ownership of my situation and take action to better it. I can give myself the validation I sought from others for so long.
That was the secret, the missing piece to the puzzle. The only person who could save me was me. I could get high off some drug or blackout wasted from alcohol and forget about my worries and pain. I could run away to another country and keep my mind occupied with something new to distract me with, but the emptiness always followed.
I was fed up with the way I was choosing to hide every day, the situations I kept getting myself into, always looking for the next thing to make me "happy" when in reality I always had the choice to be happy and free. Only I could give myself that power, that freedom.
Today, I am proud to say I am free. I am free from being chained to the expectations society has of me, I am free of seeking approval from family and friends. I am free to stand strong and authentic in my being and know that I am enough. I am a Devine half Korean half Mexican, American millennial Generation Y woman and I am utterly and absolutely in love with the person I have chosen to be today.
Poet, entrepreneur, Lyft driver, and advocate for women’s rights on a mission to empower others to become their authentic highest selves through her experiences, observations, and poems.
Founder of @re6irth.222