It’s not you, it’s me

It’s not you, it’s me


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I have always been one to be very strong-willed and independent; proving to myself that I didn’t need Paul woke up very early that morning, he was so nervous, the last call with Annie kept repeating in his head: “We need to talk,'' she said.


They agreed to meet in the same place he knew too well, the first kiss, the first I love you, and now, he is feeling so vulnerable, so afraid to lose her. He chose very purposely what he was gonna wear, her favorite shirt, those pants she gave him on his last birthday. 

He looked at his watch, it was time to go, he felt like cattle going to the slaughterhouse.


He got to their place a couple of minutes earlier, she was already waiting for him sitting at their usual table. He kissed her tenderly and touch her hand. “ I am listening,” he said.


Her words felt like a knife in his heart: “It’s not you, it’s me….” His heart broke into a thousand pieces.



Does it sound familiar? It does to me. How many times have we heard stories like that and we all know what it means, don’t we?


The interesting thing that comes to mind with this phrase is to think that if I say: “It’s not you, it’s me”, is another way to cover the truth so it feels more “merciful”, right?


The truth is that when it comes to loving and business relationships, everything is personal. Everything you feel, say, talk about someone else, perceive about others is personal, it’s all about you.  You are a mirror of the world you see. Even when you describe somebody, good or bad, whatever you say about others relates to you more than it relates to them. If you say: “I don’t like that person because she is too cocky”, my suggestion would be for you to check YOUR level of cockiness. And if you allow you to be honest with yourself I bet you will realize she is your mirror. 


The same of course happens when you tell others how wonderful, amazing and beautiful they are. Believe me! You are everything you perceive in them...and much more.


So ...what's the catch? What can you do from now on to have great and powerful relationships that will add value, joy, love, and abundance into your life? Here are 5 steps you can apply right now:


  1. Take everything personally, embrace your actions, your words, your “thoughts”, and decisions, and especially your results; “acknowledge that you are the owner of your life.”

  2. If you don’t like the results you are having, “make changes.” Nothing is “written in stone.” There is always time to do something different. You are the only one with the power to transform the necessary aspects of yourself to achieve your goals and desires.

  3. Remember that every time you blame your results on somebody else, you are not only giving up your power but missing all the chances to change the outcome.

  4. Find a mentor, you don’t know what you don't know, and it is ok. Look for somebody that can show you the path to success she/he has already walked through. Be Humbled.

  5. Above all “Believe in yourself”. You GOT THIS! One day at a time. 


Because after all my friend: “It is not you, it is Me”






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Sylvia Chavez

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Let me introduce you to Sylvia Chavez, an Extraordinary Love Coach with over 15 years experience serving women all over the world. Sylvia has cracked the code for true and for ever lasting love. She believes you can write your own love story beyond your wildest dreams without settling for anything less than what your soul and heart truly desire.